facts

i want to write a book of poetry with these sentences as poem titles

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every opportunity i get is one less opportunity for you

most days are spent watching the ceiling turn slowly to mush

statistically speaking, your choice is the wrong one

there is a fifty percent chance that i am wrong at all times

the opposite of what you have heard

the ocean is filled with beautiful creatures that you will never see

the earth is made up of the crust, the mantle, and impenetrable darkness

if you save the earth you will die

if you do not believe in yourself you will die

the first person to achieve enlightenment was barry bonds when we filled his needle with breath mints instead of steroids

if you believe in yourself you will die

once, a very long time ago, you and i were frogs and tomorrow we will be something else

in my off hours i see myself in the distance like a tv murder from across the showroom on a hi-def show model

we must do something to alter our current path

you are an asshole with giant teeth

the ocean floor is far enough away that if you start sinking now you will eventually reach it

a frog in a dry riverbed is an omen that means “give half of what you earn to the devil and god will take care of the rest”

99% of society is angry and it makes me mad

planting a bomb in your neighbor’s garden will not teach him a lesson

planting a flower in your neighbor’s mailbox does not mean that you are a good person

being a good person is statistically impossible and does not taste like wet flowers

if you think the world could be a better place you will die

the cats are all sleeping and the forks are quiet and someday jupiter will not exist

for every baby that’s born there are two people who want a baby but will never have one

i am wrong sometimes and when i am wrong i know it but there is proof of nothing

the only language to have never been spoken out in anger is not silence

it has been decided that telling someone to give 110% is attempted murder

if you walk around all the time wearing a flame retardant suit and scuba gear and a parka and a helmet and kneepads and a bullet proof vest and full chain mail you will die

the only reason i am here is some insane, unstoppable force has not prevented my current state of being

37% percent of all rodeo clowns have attempted higher education and dropped out because of a girl

it has been statistically proven that going to college, dropping out because of a girl, and then becoming a rodeo clown would make a formidable song topic for a pop punk band to write, toy with, record, feel unsure about, and then make track three of a five song ep

every member of every pop punk band ever has read the bible and thought “this is ok. this is not bad, but i’m not ready for this”

chances are if you are reading the bible and you start crying then you will die

most of the evil in this world has been proven to be a side effect of dreaming

the reason that life seems so difficult is that humanity has yet to discover that wooly mammoths are actually just dead elephants covered with mold

chances are that even if this knowledge is ever uncovered, the human race will still wander the planet, ugly, angry, and unsure of itself

the constant need to intake food and water has driven some to wearing glasses and planting maple seeds beneath their skin

the logical solution to life’s apparent difficulties is to bury yourself in your neighbor’s garden and swallow so much rain that you never stop growing

if you are dead you will not die

more people have existed than will ever exist

a wise man once told me beard

the source of all knowledge is being drunk and alone and feeling too much life even when you have done nothing but stay in and watch car chase shows for the last week and three quarters

three quarters of a week is exactly enough time to escape your troubled past and become a rodeo clown

common sense says that if you have not turned to god by the time you are thirty then your parents were wrong and you are gay

if you think you know what i’m talking about you will die

if i know what i’m talking about i will die

chances are you will not be there when i turn to god

chances are at some point in our history together one of us will turn to the other and ask for a handjob

in some societies the best compliment you can give is “i hope you don’t die today”

98% of actors who play tv murder victims didn’t know the actor who played the murderer before shooting

when gandhi was born he fell out of his mother, turned around, aimed his skull, and rammed his way back inside

at one point in history there were over 9,000 wonders of the world until they all the melted

most scholars agree that saying “i love you” actually means “let’s jump off a bridge and eat the mud from the bottom of the river”

telling people that you are “fucked up” means that you are not really “fucked up”

91% of prayers static pony fur and catch fire on brackish water

it is a fact that when you sleep swallow bugs that it happens and that is it

somewhere on earth someone is giving birth and the doctor is not paying attention

if you set your gps coordinates to “god” you will die

at this moment i am not "getting my love on"

there is a piece of birth on the sun and it is exploding to let you know

i'm trying

i'm buzzed. i've felt nervous and jumpy all day and needed a couple beers to relax. i wrote a long drunk poem tonight.

submit please.

HERE EXPLODES MY GIANT FACE

coming soon to an internet near you, a new video poetry and fiction journal called HERE EXPLODES MY GIANT FACE.


submission guidelines at official website

also, i updated my muxtape to be all his name is dan songs. these are mostly the more depressing songs. all of them are at least 2 years old and up to 5 years old. the last song features nate logan giggling in the background.

video journal

i want to start a poetry/fiction video journal similar to rabbit light movies. there will be differences though. the journal i start will accept open submissions. videos will be mostly filmed by the writers. the writers are responsible for their own videos. this journal would be a place to collect these readings or whatever. i wouldn't do it in issues or episodes. it would be an ongoing thing, like pineapplewar and other journals with that setup.

the reason i want to do this is that i like seeing faces and hearing voices. i think this would be a good thing for online writing or "indie literature." people would watch the videos and understand what it is that the writer is doing more. multiple times i've felt indifferent to a writer, but when i saw them read their poems i felt excited about them. one example of this is jennifer l. knox. she read in muncie this spring with shanna compton and it was really great. poetry readings that i've attended (most have been organized by peter davis) have always been positive experiences. i think that having more literature related videos on the internet would be a positive thing. people who aren't really into poetry show up and actually enjoy what they hear.

and hearing a poem is obviously different from reading a poem. you don't get line breaks or stanza breaks, clever enjambment, etc. you just hear the poet's voice and you have to trust it. usually, it's an awesome thing, a strange and exciting way to experience a poem. poems being read aloud usually sound amazing to me. the funny parts are funnier. the voice gives more understanding as to how the poet views the experience of the poem.

i want the website to to fun and insane, like a huge party where people stand up and read poems. the videos wouldn't have to be a person standing in front of a camera and reading. creative videos would be encouraged. for example, this video by brandon scott gorrell is really great.

this idea excites me.

tell me if this is something you'd be interested in seeing and even contributing to. i'd really like to hear some feedback about this idea.

fugazi